limericks

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Wedding Advice at Bizen.

Listen chick here's a trick you can use.
Snap right out of your smoothe sushi snooze.
Stay awake and look up
From your white saki cup
There's a lot here at stake, don't you lose.

For the time is at hand when you'll marry,
and you'll find out its plentiful scary.
As you race toward the day
I would just like to say
Play it tough girl, don't act like a fairy.

As she slowly bowls into your town,
tell your mother-in-law "Hey, pipe down!
Keep it quiet and docile
you cantankerous fossil
hurry up now and hem up this gown!"

Chin up girl, as you walk down the aisle.
Meet their eyes with a shimmering smile,
And remember this deal
when you're planning a meal,
Chinese take out is still on speed dial.

I don't want you to swear to the dickens
Or come off as some kind of a chicken.
With a wink and a tease,
keep him down on his knees,
and say, "While you're down there, start lickin!"

Karl Saliter, Mr. Taxi Trix.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

What a day full of massive grey gloom,
more rain mired on windows in my room,
wondering what I will get
as I surf to pnet
in this mildewy mucked-up monsoon

Danny Boy's got a decent joke up,
laughter moving the tea in my cup
makes me burn my old nose
and I slowly suppose
that I might from my mad mood wake up.

And I ask you, is anyone there
who has laughter tucked into their hair
with a limerick or joke
for a tiresome old bloke
with just too damn much rain in the air?

[Butterfly Man]

Quit whining, you quasi-New Yorker
As you sit in your damp roomy romper
You picked your abode
Too late to forebode
Your helter, your skelter or shelter

If you’d like pnet to uplift you
Add more ha ha’s to midmorning blue brew
Tell Trevor to sod off
Then quickly go log off
And watch as the shih-tzu it do flew

Just be glad that what’s falling is still wet
A sprinkle is surely no sweat fret
‘Cause here in LA
We’re flambé buffet
My neighborhood now a briquette

[Cybele]

For the first time in three or four days
Sun kisses my face with its rays
poor Taxi Trix
stuck in soggy wet stix
I'll send some of this sun up your way.

Butterflyman, you would do well
to flee from your firey hell
LA's good for hookin'
and bookin' and cookin'
If you can put up with the smell.

[Lynneski]

Taxi, wanna hear something that's funny?
I'll tell you of a call I got, honey.
The job sounded sweet,
And right up my street,
But they expected good skill for no money!

<gasp>

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Wheeling tuk tuks and mopeds galore
golden temples with fish in the floor
laughing sun in the sky
lost in languid Chiang Mai,
quiet monks, tasty duck at the store.

As I wander, with about one third clue
with my sandals, and cotton shirt too
I will while away weeks,
stupid smile on my cheeks,
if I'm lucky, I won't get bird flu.

[Butterfly Man]

Butterfly Holzman Fight of the Century

Happy Bunny Buggery

Young One, please excuse this pitiful scrap
But my colostomy bag’s full of crap
It’s been needled ejective
So it’s spewing invective
Bitch slapping his handicapped yap

“A joke writing contest” … just imagine!!
“If my group says so Monday, then I win.”
What a bi-Polaroid
He’s so lame, null and void
He’d add up to nil with a twin

He insults all my friends and then does so
With peccadillo and bimbo bravado
Why are we taking shit?
From a dimwit nitwit
Who was born unfertilized and in vitro

So thank you, Jester and Stephon and Nicky
For your votes though my keyboard gets sticky
When I think you’ll be there
When his ass hits the air
And his lips give my dicky a hickey

-----------------------------------------------------


Buy Bye Little Man



I must just apologize
As my last 10 or so posts crystallize
I had no intention
To get this much attention
Eating half a Raspyni, cannibalize

To Dan too, I’m so sorry as well
To put you through this kind of hell
Try rec. dot for mummies
Or Yahoo for dummies
There a web site somewhere to dwell

To the rest who witnessed this roasting
Please don’t perceive me as boasting
But Lurk was in Spain
So I administered pain
That Martin could dispatch in one posting






Game-Set-Match … Taxiiiiiiiiii



Near a showboat of jugglers of note
Fell an out-voted bloated zygote
His alimentary canal
Had a seizure, grand mal
Now his shit’s not quite making footnotes

Not much left in that noodle but strudel
As he offers his leg to a poodle
His closing new trick
To suck everyone's dick
While drooling oodles of kits and caboodles

I care not that his wit’s not so stellar
As a comic, a second rate teller
Jap wives folding clothes
Weave my loathes into coves
Beneath cellars of pride, Cinderella

------------------------------------------


2nd limerick in Holzman joke challenge


I’ve no clue what’s the matter with you
Why you yahoo instead of yoo-hoo
A corny old clown
With your flower of frown
Squirting cock-a-doodle-doo-doo

Your ill-equipped wit, infantile
And your jokes at their best, juvenile
Delusions puerile
Transfusions penile
You’re one defunct non-erectile

So I’m happy to splatter your matter
Fry your ego in batter and scatter
With a whack & a hack
Like that guy in Iraq
To hand you your head on this platter






1st limerick in Holzman joke challenge


Far be it for me to be vicious
But this prick’s getting seditious
Pardon my loss of control
It was never my goal
To berate him or be so malicious

I told him to leave me alone
Or he’d reap whatever he’d sown
But just like a flea
He pestered with glee
On and on with his joke challenge drone

So if that’s what it’s got to be
To be free of his weary ennui
Said the flower of corn
To the clown doing porn
That’s one teeny weenie Raspyni



--------------------------------------------

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

There once was a dunce from LA
who was balding and old, a bit gay
he would jester and prance
making tights pass for pants,
then he'd flap tatoo wings, and away.

[Butterfly Man]

You Rock!

Wow, what a great limerick
So clever, comedic, prolific
Slag the old fag
He’s a clown punching bag
An ink-winged peripatetic

[Spike McGuire]

Robert the philosophical chameleon
Studies theories from Plato to Hegelian
But the one he loves most
As said in his post
Is the school known as Aristotelian

[Airborne Dan]

There's a fellow by the name Jester
who's mom is no empty nester
she makes up his bed
puts his hat on his head
but still won't let him molest her.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

The Pole Truth.

There was a young juggler named Joel,
although handsome, quite skillful, and droll,
his show sucked, he was fucked
always stuck for a buck
till he bucked up and lucked up a pole.

And he knew he had found his next phase,
while the punters surrounded his case,
each with cash for his hat
slapping stashes of that.
What a big wide moon grin on Joel's face.


Then the view just beflooded our hound,
from the heights of his pole looking down,
it was fit, wouldn't quit,
he saw bits of sweet tits,
he found mounds you can't see from the ground.