limericks

[Lynneski]

There once was a timehog who played
At a fest where his welcome o'erstayed
To the next stop he flew
Where the piss-taking grew
He, oblivious, the whole escapade.

[Peter Voice]

There once was a UN inspection
For old Saddam's weapons collection.
They found not a speck.
Said George "What the heck!
A war hero I'll be, next election".

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

A thin-bearded peasant named Paul
Was a wizard indeed with a ball.
He could bounce it, with flick,
Hit the backflip, spin quick,
And then pocket it, with piss perfect stall.

[Butterfly Man]

Wassamatter Karl, nothin’ better to do?
Than pick on a cuckoo tattoo
Let this sleeping dog lie
Go smoke you some Thai
This ain’t no Dien Bien Phu

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

In my final week sunbasking here
Hearing jeers from the rear-piercing queer
The waves whisper "Relax,
Robert's rimmed with Ex Lax,
Anal issues are his only fears."

So I hasten to slip in this tease,
Knowing avalanche comes from one sneeze,
But its hard to resist,
When the target persists,
Butterfly Bullseye, please, write more cheese.

[Butterfly Man]

Your tease seems more like a yank
On the chain hanging over my tank
I told you to hush
But you just had to flush
So your butt, I’ll just have to spank

First off, if I was gay, I wouldn’t fuck you
With your unkempt, pornographic hair-do
Locks infested with fleas
Since the early ‘60s
May I suggest some soap and shampoo

And back off of my ass, if you please
It no longer is my heel, Achilles
I’ve a brand new ass hole
And I’m out on parole
Nudge, wink, take a hint Heloise [img]wink.gif[/img]

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Porno hair, Butterfly, just be calm.
Don't explode, like your act, in a bomb,
its again super short
for the long corporate sport
have a look at taxitrix.com

Now, old teacher, I do like your class,
but concerning your poem, rude and crass,
I would never bed down
with a broken old clown
Goof tatoo, balded pate, rebuilt ass.

We're all glad its repaired and at ease,
and I'll leave it at that, since you please,
Though in truth, the real deal
is that heel was a meal
Super crust insult pie, extra cheese.

[Butterfly Man]

Took a surf through your site and must say
Nice new threads but you should lose that beret
Taxi drivers in Queens
Might call it obscene
And suggest you work for Subway

Though your appearance is generally neat
Your outfit is still uncomplete
That hat don’t promote
And won’t get my vote
An old YELLOW cab cap would be sweet

May I share one more thing you might ponder
Since you’ve cleaned up your act with a launder
Put your props in a lorrie
And your skills in a story
You’ve still shit little talent to squander

[gweedo]

A familiar line, that, Mr N.
Are you stuck for ideas from your pen?
Has your tired old brain
given in to the pain
of the longing for time way back when? [img]rolleyes.gif[/img]

When you'd hold court and be in the house
with insults for the old drunken louse,
are you closer to him
so far out on a limb...
are you sorry you followed your spouse? [img]frown.gif[/img]

Well, in any case, red face, my friend,
you're not too far removed, in the end,
as a full one-trick-pony
On V Beach, sad and lonely,
noting your talent coin has mostly been spent [img]confused.gif[/img]

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Good to know someone's reading this thread,
though of your prose it now must be said,
I do pity your wit,
glad I didn't print that shit,
Take off the clown shoes: go to bed.

Mr Nelson, is that what you think?
You're the stink from the brink of my sink.
I would give you the hat,
were it only not that
I went to your site, and to think!

There you stare, hair scarce under grey bucket.
Fairly scary, in your place I would chuck it.
Fashion notions from you,
clueless loopy tatoo,
Looks like Cher married a bear and then fucked it!

*

[ 02-15-2003: Message edited by: Mr.Taxi Trix ]</p>

[Pyromancer]

I'm reading this thread, too
with aplaude and an occasional boo
it's fun to follow your ongoing fight
makes morning a little more bright
coz' laughing is what I most do

[Cybele]

Two jugglers sat on a wall
With insults, each pushed for a fall
Little caring that they
Were a teapotty fray
Pornohair, butterflypate and all.

[Butterfly Man]

Damn, this has turned into some sort of duel
Quips like whips stinging wisecracks of fuel
Go suck on a nipple!
Why fuck with a cripple?
With your barbs that border on cruel

British winters, not as cold as your wit
Bring out syndromes, in me, like Tourette
Suck my asshole, you dicks
You scunt munching pricks
You’re fuckin’ wanker wack, walking bullshit

So, forgive me, if I plead ‘no contest’
To this limerick battle of jest
Who wins after all?
You make the call ...
I’m off to Motionfest west!

[Pyromancer]

It's not up to me to decide
who's has to win and who has to hide
I know it's hard to digest,
but you seem so depressed
swearing, defending your pride

try to shit first or go for a leak
since cursing is for the weak
so chill out that pulsating nerve
try not to speak like a perve
wise men just rarely speak

I hate to enter this game
as I only know you by name
it's Trix that I have met
in Asia, covered in sweat
but we are all somewhere the same

Bored in winter with too much time
spoiling hours on silly rhyme
can't wait till the sun is up again
for that plentyfull period when
you can work outside for more than a dime

[ 02-17-2003: Message edited by: Pyromancer ]</p>

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Front page of "Faux Pas" magazine:
"Butterfly Stinks Like Old Fava Bean:
Limerick Lift Decompresses
Tattooed Codger Confesses
Bawling out like an old Drama Queen."