limericks

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Yes, you could call the tune like a piper
When you spat out insults, worse than viper,
They would cower and laugh
But now you need a bath
And its time that you donned a new diaper.

As I pick up my paper and pen,
I'll describe you from here in my den,
A Bonzai Butterfly?
Diaper Ninja, says I
You're a has-been who never has been.

[Butterfly Man]

Rightly said, I’ve not hit my lick
But check out Martin, Gazzo & Nick
Have they flied high as I
And just ask yourself why
No one’s heard of you, Taxi Trix

Look above and read the marquee
Nick’s “Lennix Lewis” you’d have to agree
Gazzo’s “Tyson” cum clot
Martin’s “Forman” pot shot
And me, you trite featherweight, I’m Ali

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Yes, I'm even less famous than you,
I'm obscure from my head to my shoe.
Just a juggling fuck
Bringing home a quick buck
Nowhere near as sublime as said crew.

On a relative scale, Mister Clown,
You are right, in our minescule town.
Though I'll give you your point,
There's no star in this joint.
Oh King Robert, where is thy crown?

That pedestal, Mister Ali,
Is just not quite as high as a tree
And the title you claim
While its yours, all the same
It will never allow you to be

Free from that which you can never run
Like the sugar that's stuck to a bun,
You'll not wander too far
From your fate, Pseudo Star
Just as frost will not suffer the sun,

You are trapped and no, it never ends
Though you cry out to family and friends,
You are stuck, like a schmuck,
Just your luck, you're right fucked,
You are duck taped in soggy Depends.

[Butterfly Man]

I’m glad that you see things my way
Though I’m sorry, I just have to say
The streets heyday is over
No more titles leftover
Especially for you since you’re gay

No more sugar is left on that bun
Drawing circles no longer much fun
Unless they’re like you
With my anus & poo
Using only your finger and tongue

So this crown of a clown if you will
As the undisputed king of this hill
Will forever remain
Until death will I reign
And your skill with your quill will be nil

To be honest this isn’t quite true
As they’re others, though only a few
Like Charlie Barnett
Captain KeanO, you bet
Who drew huge revenue from the queue

So take your duck tape and stuff it up yonder
You’ve much yet to learn and to ponder
You’re a squit with a tit
And a slit with a clit
With shit little talent to squander

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

You are free, take what little you can,
You pathetic and grasping old man.
Keep on screaming "I'm great!"
While you can't pull your freight
As you slowly recede as a man.

Your magnanimous tip of the hat
Fails to take on the real picture that
(skipping Bounce, Locomotion)
You're a drop in an ocean
And a very unskilled one, at that.

[Butterfly Man]

It’s true, I have little to offer
As I look inside my simple coffer
I gave a few laughs
On a 6 foot giraffe
It’s not much for one man to proffer

There are others out there, it is true
That gave more than I ever knew
And it saddens me so
And my heart fills with woe
To say goodbye and to bid them adieu

Piccaso, Pierrot and Pissarro
Pluto, Plato and Pizarro
Welcome in
Your brethren
The genius of Tony Montenaro

[nick nickolas]

Taxi you are living up there in the hill
You sit in the church , while Bobby is Ill ..
He is lying there with a broken arse
his liquid food he's just able to pass
he sits with his laptop to have his fill


I've seen you both dodge and swerve
Each trying for each others nerve
between your words and rhyme
that don't seem to understand time
one at another you intellectually perv...

It's fun to read your mental chat
dippity do dappaty dat
keep the tension amongst the clown
hold it tight then release the frown
keep it up...from a twat !

[ 12-16-2002: Message edited by: nick nickolas ]</p>

[Lynneski]

In the east there's a broke taxi ride
On the left coast an ass butterflied
Enjoyed jolly sport
Rapier words, paired retort
Each chortled evil glee and replied

But there's something I'll shout from the wings:
"Brother love dies of fatal word stings.
Play nice with each other!"
Or you'll drive this poor mother
To point from the sandbox to swings

[Butterfly Man]

Ok, Mom, I’ll do what you say
Take my ball and just go away
But he started this shit
And I just couldn’t sit
While he toasted my ego, flambé

He’s a formidable foe, there’s no doubt
A roustabout with plenty of clout
He gutted my butt
With his verbal rebut
Making blood spout out of my snout

I look fondly back on the day
When young Nick made my ass a frappe´
I was young and headstrong
With a King Kong sized schlong
Now it’s shriveled and withered away

So Taxi, don’t feel that you’ve won
With your wit, wordplay and pun
There’s always the danger
Fuck with the Lone Ranger
You’ll be outgunned,outrun and undone

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Oh, must we stop now, I've got more!
I'm a regular limeric whore
Whose at last found a rapper
Having trials with his crapper
There are lyrics, and sonets in store.

But I do see it could go right under,
Could our fight cause damage? I wonder...
There have been some sweet lines,
And some ego land mines...
Like " shit little talent to squander".

So its back to our corners, I guess
Although dammit, these flames were the best.
Teasing bright, flaming orange
Screaming like rusted door hinge.
Hats off, Butterfly, take a rest.

We'll truce it for Tony, we will.
(And I do hate to sound like a pill,
But from here, where I stand,
He had brilliant command,
But his flair for one-liners was nill.)

[ 12-16-2002: Message edited by: Mr.Taxi Trix ]</p>

[Lynneski]

I'm one of the biggest killjoys
Should've let those boys be boys
"It's all in good fun,
Wouldn't hurt anyone"
Read the day's mail, lacking in poise

Where there's fire there's something that smokes
My matron's concern a big hoax
What's really the truth
(Though saying lacks couth)
I was tired of all the butt jokes!

So Taxi and 'Fly, once again
Take up arms like the bravest of men
T'will be my pleasure
To wield a tape measure
Compare mights of your sword and your pen

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Easy Lynne, don't retract what you said.
I'm still breathing, and not quite yet dead.
I'm a staggering clown
From these most recent rounds,
Where I've suffered such blows to the head.

I can't quite call it quits with this bloke,
with this disclaiming statement unspoke:
I admire your work,
Robert Nelson, you jerk,
And I don't really hope that you choke.

You've brought laughter to thousands of faces
Much to mine, not the least of these cases,
People see, in your rage,
The wisdom of the sage
Wrapped in foolscloth, and mirroring ages.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Christmas day, and I'm home, warm and dry
Whirlwind white wheeling wide through the sky
now my mom is asleep
and I'm trying to keep
quiet keys, as I type this reply.

[Butterfly Man]

When the New Year makes it’s debut
From Hokkaido way down to Kyushu
In my poor Japanese, I do quote
Cause it helps clear my throat
Akemashite omedeto gozaimasu

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Its a shame that you couldn't be here
to ring in this auspicious New Year.
First Night gigs circled round
mid the hand-clapping sound
and we all made a buck, never fear.

Though the party at Brady's was cool
and we all took turns playing the fool
flexing comedy pecks,
we would gladly trade checks,
To snag some of that Japanese Mool.