limericks

[em]

Been tied up in college all week
So sadly admitted defeat
but now that I'm back
I'll take up the slack
With this poem all rounded and neat...

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Tied up in college all week?
I'd give anything just for one peek.
With her skin alabaster,
doing all for her masters,
the thought of it makes my knees weak.

[em]

If only it felt that exciting
And it didn't involve so much writing
And if the impro was good
Instead of like wood
And they weren't so obsessed with strip lighting....

[Lynneski]

Poor Emma is fagged from work serious,
It sounds like she's nearly delirious,
For strip-lighting works well
If used with a gel
And installed in a set that's mysterious.

[elvis]

Sounds like your girl needs a break
perhaps a nice dinner of steak?
Best treat her well
Lest her girlfriends she tell
That all her orgasms were fake!

[HOFF AKA Kitty Katonga]

There once was a boy from Delhousie
His cunalingus was really quite lousy
He knew how to spread it
But just couldn't get it
And the girls just ended up drowsy

[martin ewen]

There once was a girl from all and sundrey
whose optimism and hope knew no boundary
Her palitable goods
served her nothing but falsehoods
So historically she waits for people without a monday.
(anythings possible)

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

There once were two joyous buffoons
modern tastes, both in costume and tunes,
names of Colin and Philly,
though there act was quite silly,
it consisted entirely of balloons.

As old buskers we watched their act grow
from torquing for tips to full show
to enormous tight circle
(with Phil acting the jerkle)
and my agents saying "I've got a gig for them, can they go?"

[Lynneski]

It's time to do gigs that are corporate,
Tired and true bits we did formulate,
Though always it seems
They plan tiresome themes,
We're glad for the funds they do generate.

[Butterfly Man]

Big Elvis has no clue who we are
With a wit that’s a bit below par
Stick to yo-yo’s, you freak
With your obtuse physique
We’ve no need of your fat sass so far

[elvis]

There was a performer of stunts
who made his living by picking on runts
when the crowds started thinning
and no friends he was winning
he realized he was merely a cunt.

But did that stop him? Hell no!
He'd huff and he'd puff and he'd blow
with gags very tired
he finally got fired
from Life, his very last show.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

As I writhe in luxurious walls
on a cruise ship and scratching my balls
I await stimulation
trapped afloat fabrication
inane chat on my poor old ears falls.

[Butterfly Man]

There once was a Toy R Us freak
With a sub-moron wind chime critique
With his parts full of loops
Bass lures, rings and hoops
If he swallowed his pride, he’d just leak!

[Butterfly Man]

What Blankhorn went through, we all never knew
While the tales of Dale flew from view.

Then Finkleinni withdrew, in lieu of the flu
So Shel used some voodoo and glue

And Ken tried to rescue and redo Kim’s screw ewe
With a coup by the mildew’d tattoo

So bugaboo boo-hoo and pooh-pooh on you too
And cock-a doodle-doo toodle-oo
For Lynneski a new pew, so tough to out yahoo
The stew that you drew - Waterloo!

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

As William Lee asked, "Am I Gay?"
and I prance on my sweet feet of clay
oer to "out yourself here"
clothed in lace, clearly queer,
neetly baking my fey gay souffle,

I'm alarmed and excited, bejittered
nipples up, chittering as I twitter.
rippling muscles divine
cuddling cross concubines
fantasies through my whit flit and skitter