Dirty stinking vendors

[martin ewen]

There comes a time in every young clowns life when they must turn to marketing.
I now sell essentual goods at
www.anti-gravity.com.au/products.htm
I've done no market research.
Who of us sells anything and what is it?

[Prof Willie B]

I believe Peter Voice has a few postcards he'd like to sell.

[Adam Gertsacov]

I sell quite a bit of flea circus merchandise at my shows. It actually is mostly about getting the audience into the right mood to see the show. My theory is, if you haven't bought flea circus merchandise from the flea circus guy, you really haven't been to the flea circus!

You can see some of my merchandise at http://www.trainedfleas.com/merch.html

[jester]

Martin.

You are one of the funniest miserable bastards in the world. I am not being ironic. I want to foster a clown.

Cracking joke site man. Kewl!

[martin ewen]

My mother used to say,'You can never be too funny or too miserable.'
Surely you realise that my misery is just a mask that carefully conceals my glee.
However, I am depressed, I AM A DEPRESSED VENDOR.
While its true I've only been in the international marketplace 4 days I must say I;m dissapointed in sales.
I think strategicly I may have omitted to factor into the equation, that nobody cares.
Or I may just have to accept that I don't give good vend.

[This message has been edited by martin ewen (edited 05-21-2001).]

[AJJames]

I would just like to paraphrase Jester's comment and say that ,in my opinion Martin is infact one of the most miserable funny bastards in the world..
I actually fostered him once, well who could refuse an intelligent paranoid depressive it worked out well ....until he drank all my gin and smoked all my grass and that was the end of that all though, I don't regret it and ,if I had the money to keep him I would have.

[martin ewen]

Please let us have no more fraudulent references to past clown fostercare.
I do not wish to engage my attorneys.
Here I am with disgruntled progress to sell with premium packages of unhappyclown fostercare that have me effectively orphaned with sales of nil.
The last time I smoked a joint 'The Partridge family' were thought to be quite radical and I don't drink Gin, it reminds me of the 19th century, very depressing.
I encourage only pro-health misery, dissatisfaction, ennui and the pursuit of the disgruntled.
And I sell all the neccesary paperwork.
To an indifferent void.
(insert violins)

[Lynneski]

Perhaps, Martin, your solution to giving better vend lies in offering yet more opportunities. We, watchers of inane yet vaguely threatening tele appeals, are accustomed to seeing a sliding scale of choices.

For only $15 US per month (that's less that the price of one cup of coffee per day!) you can foster an unhappyclown. For just pennies more, only $20 per month, you can give your fosterclown a one week supply of thrift-store tee shirts. For those with larger wallets (and hearts!), a mere $50 per month will keep your unhappyclown's imaginary, one-eyed pet rat supplied with kibble, and your fosterclown with tinned dog food.

Just think of the possibilities!
Lynneski