Rubber Chicken Flambe

[Doctor Eric]

Yes Virginia, I WILL agree with you in one thread, and call you a !@#?ing idiot in another.

I DON'T CARE if he abondons the bit, because I never told him to. I was trying to save him from 2 months worth of effort for a joke that he would give up after one go. I can give you a point by point thesus on WHY it won't work, if you want, I'd much rather state the truth. The case you are scrambling for to save your bruised id is quite different however. The heckling kids thread was asking for jokes, and a bunch of people started offering theory. I gave Magic Mickey advice on lighting a rubber chicken on fire. Eventually I'll get you to lighten up on your psychobabbling sensitivity Karl, and you'll thank me.

Because you will start writing better jokes.

And please, the retractable antennae bit is not only unoriginal, it's also PUBLISHED at this point. AND it's prominently displayed in Robert's promo video.

[Rick Martin]

How about making up a second chicken/torch combination prop. Juggle the torch, knife and rubber chicken and 'accidently' drop' the chicken behind a trunk or something and when you bend to pick it up, light the second prop with the flaming torch. The second chicken prop could be a juggling torch shoved up through a rubber chicken from the ass end with part of the chicken's head cut off so it wouldn't be melted by the flame. Hopefully, the flame and the movement of the spinning prop would would hide the missing head part of the chicken. When you stop juggling, the fact that the chicks head is burned away could be funny.
Over time, you would probably figure out how to strengthen the gaffed chicken to make it stronger and more fire resistant or you may have to replace the rubber part often.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

In your zeal, you of course disregard that the retractble antenna is not featured inside a chicken anywhere. Punk. None of this is psychobabble, you just failed, on the most basic level of creative problem solving, and I chose to point it out. Take your medication, you're way off on this.

[Doctor Eric]

Actually, here, I'll dumb it down a bit for you, just so you know what's going on.

I hang out with comics and performers almost every day. Ironically the ones that are any good, young OR old, are the ones content and happy hanging out and talking about jokes and material. A phrase quite often heard in those conversations is "That joke isn't funny enough" along with "That's too long for such a weak pay off" as well as quite a few other honest criticisms. These statements are not insults, they are actually quite helpful, especially if you'd rather not spin your wheels uselessly. I think the best advice I ever recieved was "Why don't you take out all the jokes that aren't funny," maybe that statement sounds a bit harsh, but hearing it also caused me to sharpen up my show quite a bit, and I continue to do so. I stand by my earlier statement, while juggling three different objects, one of which is already burning, another catching fire will barely be noticed, and the joke itself isn't very funny because no one cares about a rubber chicken, the only way around that is to give the chicken itself an identity and a personality, so that when it catches fire, there is some emotional response that can translate into laughter. See how much more work is starting to happen already? I don't see where the supposed lack of compassion comes in at all.

What I see as pathetic is the fact that I, the young upstart "punk," has to explain this to you, Karl, and your only defense is to claim seniority. If you haven't noticed, we're all a bunch of nobody's here, so claiming seniority is just saying that you've remained a nobody longer than the rest of us. Congratulations. I'm sure it's tough to keep your humility after all those years, if you ever had any to begin with.

I am continually frustrated by the lack of progression and evolution in the variety arts scene (as well as the comedy scene) and it is largely borne out of the asinine assumption that the phrase "That's not funny" is equal to "!@#? you, you're a worthless piece of !@#?". Get over it, it's just a joke; even if it IS funny, it's still not worth anything but a laugh. I wasn't wrong, I was offering my advice, feel free to offer a SEPERATE piece of advice, but attacking MY statement with a condescending attitude is what started this mess in the first place. If you are really sick of my posts, just hit the ignore button, and your fragile little bubble will remain undisturbed by my views and opinions, and I will be spared your holier than thou knee jerk reactions.

Magic Mickey, if you are continuing to read this cluster!@#? of a thread, I want you to know that you're smart enough, you're good enough, and goshdarn it, people like you. The burning chicken still isn't worth the effort, but keep working.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Very succinct, lord of comedy. (yawhn.) Jesus, just publish it.
If he had asked you your opinion on if the bit was funny, you would have a point.
Its his act.

[Doctor Eric]

"Very succinct, lord of comedy."

See the mistake you keep making, now? I don't remember ever making that claim.

[zoobie]

did you ever get it to work?