New Website

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  • MWGrubb
    New Member
    • May 2008
    • 2

    New Website

    Would you mind looking at a new website?

    I have been a performer for over 30 years and wanted to get some feedback from other performers in the trenches.

    Here's the link:



    Warmly,

    Millard
  • scot
    Senior Member
    • Dec 2000
    • 1169

    #2
    I don't think you really want feedback. I think you want to advertise your thing.

    just in case:
    what is it you're selling? Is it a workshop or a book or a home magic test? You should expect people to look at one headline, one paragraph and a few photos. If you're not getting the message across in those, you loose.

    your crap is just confusing. too many nonsense words, you're overselling and that's annoying. there aren't enough photos and it's hard to tell what to read first. If you write like that, I'd hate to give you money for any advice.

    Scot Nery's commitment chunking:
    people look for a photo. if they like it, they'll commit to reading the headline. if they're still interested, they'll commit to reading the first 3 sentences. Intrigued? they'll read 2 more paragraphs.

    Comment

    • Peter
      Senior Member
      • Dec 2000
      • 271

      #3
      Millard, you asked for feedback so I'll give it as honest as I can be. This site smells just like Dave Dee and his bullshit stuff. get to the point, tell me what your selling and how it will benefit me, then tell me how much it is going to cost me. From your site I guess that you are going to teach me how to perform your show. I could give a shit about YOUR show, I have my own. Why are the testimonials there because I have no idea what they are testifyiing to. Then you say it will cost me ONLY $20. except it is $20 for SIX months. That's $120 for a lousy mentalism act that is a dime a dozen when you read Corida.

      Not a good site at all.

      Comment

      • Patrick Kelly
        Member
        • May 2005
        • 47

        #4
        The random all caps are annoying. The varying size fonts and italics are annoying. The highlights are annoying. The content is annoying. It looks more like a classified ad for a diet pill than a website.

        You start with a lie telling the reader that it will cost $20 then at the end you find out that it's $120. You lost all credibility with this deception.

        I could list more but I think I'll just go get a cheese pizza.

        Comment

        • fettucinibrother
          Member
          • Nov 2004
          • 38

          #5
          Re: New Website

          Originally posted by MWGrubb
          Would you mind looking at a new website?

          I have been a performer for over 30 years and wanted to get some feedback from other performers in the trenches.

          Here's the link:



          Warmly,

          Millard
          That's not a website... that's a very long and boring commercial. Weak!... is all I have to say.
          AL

          Comment

          • Steven Ragatz
            Senior Member
            • Feb 2001
            • 493

            #6
            Aaaah! 2500 words on the home page!!! I haven't read that many words in one sitting since I had to do book reports! (And even then the Cliff Notes I used were probably shorter.)

            Steven Ragatz

            PS. I think you missed one font size (7.5 pt.) Not sure I saw that one...

            PPS. I'm a cheapskate - I NEVER pay $20 for a MEDIUM pizza.

            Comment

            • martin ewen
              Senior Member
              • Dec 2000
              • 1887

              #7
              why is it that it's always the magicians who delude themselves into believing they're marketing geniuses?

              Hey buddy, you think everyone's a rube. Big mistake.

              What even dumb street street performers don't lack is a certain instinctive cunning and self preservationary nose for bullshit.
              The fact that you have to use thousands of words to lull anyone into buying your shlock is enough to tell even the least jaded among us you're full of shit.

              Go insult someone elses intelligence you cookie cutter marketing failure.

              Comment

              • raspyni
                Member
                • Dec 2001
                • 19

                #8
                Uh?

                I didn't get very far on the copy but it got real stinky, real fast. Get in touch with the truth of what you have to offer and lay it out clearly. As someone pointed out earlier you gain creditability in small chunks and I barely got past the headline or subhead.

                Oh, and $20 for a medium cheese pizza? Where are you shopping?

                Barry

                Comment

                • Butterfly Man
                  Senior Member
                  • Dec 2000
                  • 1606

                  #9
                  Holzmanism

                  "Oh Barry, see how it lies there."

                  Comment

                  • raspyni
                    Member
                    • Dec 2001
                    • 19

                    #10
                    Barryism

                    Robert!

                    Been so long since I've seen you. Hope you are doing well out there on the island. Is it true you're doing America's Got Talent this year?

                    Comment

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