Critique this!

[Aaron Gregg]

I like everyone else needs some feedback on my website. I've finally fixed some pesky problems so here's the URL:

stuntsuperstar.com

Feel free to be really negative, I've got a thick skin due to my mom's mating with a lizard. I know the menu bar is too wide but is it really that big a problem? Do that many people still use 15" monitors?

Thanks, and if you are bored and know me there is funny and personal stuff at stuntsuperstar.com/fun which isn't linked from the main page - I don't want customers seeing pictures of me screwing a transexual midget.

-Aaron

[Road Mage]

Excellent site mate and liked the promo a lot. I gotta get round to redoing my promo sometime...

All the best

Owen

[Pyromancer]

It's good...

[scot]

COPY

Make your paragraphs a little smaller.

This sentence is screwed:
"Aaron offers an energetic, comic wizard ontage and a professional, reliable character offstage."

Delete this sentence:
"Along with years of performing at Victoria's famous Inner Harbour, Aaron has performed for many other audiences including these:"

"the Aaron Gregg Show" Is awkward to read. If you need to label it, "The stunt superstar show"

People don't want to tackle a page of poorly written text. You don't have to become a good writer, just break it up into little chunks so people don't have to read through a lot of it to get what they want.

Use headings and bulleted lists.
Headings like "The show is fun!" (desc. comedy) "the show is exciting" (stunts) "the show is the best!" (experience) "the show is yours!" (business dealings)

Instead of saying you are easy to work with, try to describe what dealing with you is like. "As soon as you make a phone call, your questions will be answered and promotional materials will be in the mail that day"




INFO DESIGN

Start and end the show description with a link to the promo video. Video is more fun than text and it will help you more.

Your resume picture is the best one you have. Put it on the front. In fact, I would skip the "Home" page (home is a waste of time) and just start with the resume page as it stands -- minus one sentence.

The news page should be mor full of text and pictures -- not just links to pictures.

Try putting contact info on every page

PHOTOS
They all suck. They make you look bad especially your headshot

quick fix: get a friend that knows photoshop to fix them up using color correction, contrast, and making new backgrounds.

right way: go to a college and get some more photos taken with actual flashes and stuff.

GRAPHIC DESIGN
I put it last on the list because it's not as important as the other stuff.

yellow and grey colorscheme is mid ninetys technology. It's radio shack in highschool to me. same with the menu font

I would squeeze the top bar some so that less scrolling is nec. Move everything below the menu up also. there's a white gap. I have to scroll for your contact info. Just put it all at the top. don't skip so many lines.

photo borders are really ugly. use normal photos with no border. then, in your html do <img src="ringsvid.jpg" width="200" height="152" border=2>

SUMMARY

It's going to work as a website, but it could work better.

step1: Streamline it, make it more compact and make it super simple for people to get what they want.

step2: Give it the polished professional look and you won't have to tell people that you're good to work with. They'll know it.

[Aaron Gregg]

Damn...

I asked for it and you dished it Scot. I like most of what you said but have a few comments...

Re: Copy. Great points, looking back on it it is so wordy. I'll tighten it up. But one thing I wanted to do was substantiate claims about how "fun" and "great" my show is with explanations. Too long though, that's for sure.

News Page: I set up the news page not to have graphics because I was lazy. I didn't want to have to add new flare every time I added a news item. I could add a few thumbnails though, that would fancy it up.

I agree the 'home' page is a bit of a waste but jumpin' strait to the resume stuff doesn't seem elegant. Perhaps a much more minimal home page that's basically a cover page.

Photos: I know they suck, I'm so damn cheap. I actually did what you suggested and got a friend who is a photographer to take them and I fixed tonnes of stuff in photoshop, but that's the product - we used lights too. Soon I'll spend money so I can make some money.

What do you mean about making new backgrounds? I used a neutral background so I can photoshop it out and add whatever I want. What should I use as background? Your photos are nice but appear a little contrived.

As far as the photo borders they're not quite what I want but just putting them directly on white looks nasty - I really like the way the photos on my videos page look. I'll try your HTML suggestion but I'm skeptical.

Color scheme: the irony is that I decided on using a color scheme after seeing you in Portland. It's generally yellow and black (not red, black and white cause that's taken) but the grayish shading for the menu bar looked appealing. As you say the scheme isn't the most glaring problem (unlike the photos) so I'll leave it till my next site redesign, which hopefully will look late 90's. It's my second promo site so I'm still at the sharp end of the learning curve. Next one will be better I promise.

Thanks a bunch Scot - if I ever decide to commit suicide and need someone to pull the trigger I know youre' up to it. I was hoping to see you at Damento but I guess you had to work.

More thoughts from anyone are welcome,

-Aaron

[scot]

If you want to commit suicide, I'm not the man for the job.

Plus, I like you and want you to succeed.

For a good background, it's simple to use a gradient, or download a picture from google images and plop your image over that.

Here's an example of a custom background I made for my friend's business card.

You can see how much it helped especially when it's in better detail.

BEFORE:

[scot]

AFTER: