There is Always That One Kid...

[heckler]

You know the one, he/she is everywhere.

His parents work there at the pitch in a store or booth. Kid is left alone every day wandering around the fest. Parents send him away so he comes and bothers you. I guess he figures it's your job to entertain him even though he's seen your act a hundred times and is bored with it.

So to keep himself entertained he sits there, in the front row, shouting out your punchlines before you get to them, explaining the secret to the tricks to anyone in earshot, running in and out of the circle. basically doing everything he can to ruin your show. He wants to play with your props,and he bring his friends around to also "just hang-out" with you.

Who is this kid, why are his parents OK with letting him run around, why are WE responsible to babysit this brat? Some pitch-rats are are cool and enjoy helping out, then there are those others.

What can you do? Talking to the kid doesn't help, talking to the parents only helps for a little while. Becoming a complete jerk to the snot-nosed, crotch grape only seems to encourage him. You can't ignore him; it only amps up his volume.

A thumb to the soft-spot? Give him enough candy to OD on? Rat-poison wrapped in a juice-box??

I guess it takes a village to raise really annoying kids...

[Lex Brodie]

If you really feel like being evil, call Child Protective Services and tell "mom" you're doing so.

[bsarafian12]

PERFECT RESPONSE, love it..........

Bruce

[Lex Brodie]

Thankyew, thankyew, I'm here all week .... try the macaroni ....

Honestly, I don't know what you do about brats. I'm not out busking (trumpet music) yet but I have some fears of brats on BMX bikes myself.

Of course a fairground situation, those kids have NO WHERE else to go, and this can be used: Mom's no doubt already on thin ice for being a carny, or is nervous about it. CPS could be used.....

[Stephon]

Yeah, I know that kid.

I took care of it by talking to him before the show; I explained nicely to him that it was nice that he enjoyed the show enough to keep coming back, and pointed out to him that the other people in the audience hadn't seen the show before and that when he yelled out the punchlines or tipped the tricks that it ruined the show for others.

He actually understood, and behaved from then on.

[Frisbee]

i say something similar to stephon, it happens a lot at the fairs where the same 4-h kids come day after day and 2nd or 3rd day in they start to shout out what is going to happen and the lines you will say.

I say remember that "although you have seen the show and maybe some others too, the vast majority here have not and I would like them to have the same first experience with the show that you had and obviously enjoyed so much to memorize and keep coming back."

it pretty much always works and most kids do understand.

[Isabella]

I've found all those to work very well, especially since the kid usually wants to belong or to be part of something. When reason doesn't work, I go with, "Hey, where are your parents? Gosh, I'm sorry, there's some dangerous stuff in this show, so I can't let anyone watch unless they are here with Mom or Dad. I hope you'll come back, but you gotta go find a parent, OK?"

Then I don't look like a bitch for evicting them from the audience if I have to do it in front of other audience members.

[Lex Brodie]

That's pretty cool, Frisbee.

In my own case, I suspect the kids-on-BMX-bikes scenario I imagine will end with my playing some stuff THEY know, their being astonished at how it can be played on a trumpet, and their kind of wandering off.

Those kids the OP has a problem with, are basically "captive hecklers" in that their mom has decided to raise them in the carny life and they have no where else to go.

[Mr.Taxi Trix]

Calling child protective for a heckling kid is killing an annoying fly with a tank and several air strikes.

You want to sanitize "your" piece of the public space, do whatever you need to, but calling child protective is visiting real, genuine hardship on a parent, and often, on the child as well.

Deal with it yourself, remembering the "If you really feel like being evil" context from Lex's advise.

Get ten lines that work, or twenty,

http://www.performers.net/forums/showthread.php?t=487&highlight=annoying

make the kid an ally, give them a slightly paying job, find ways to rise to the challenge such that it improves your work as a street performer, not
your effectiveness as a crybaby.

[Lex Brodie]

This is why I said, it's really being evil.

I've seen parents who kept their kids out of school, had them drinking hard liquor and smoking cigarettes at age 11 (the liquor was the only foodstuff in the house) etc CPS would be an improvement.

In some of these cases it's the lesser evil.

[Daniel Mooncalf]

"When you do that, you're ruining my show. Please stop."

OR

"Get the FUCK out of my show."

OR

Talk to the mom or festival organizer.

[sippy]

I've had problems controlling kids in our pitches before. I found the best thing that's worked for me is I will single out the kid, put them front stage centre, and say that "I'm auctioning off this child to the highest bidder and will take the profit unless the parent comes to claim them immediately."

[ALAKAZAM]

Kids don't seem to fuck with me, ever! Get some tattoos dudes.

[RiffRaff]

Kids don't seem to fuck with me, ever! Get some tattoos dudes.

The most frightening tattoo I've ever seen said, "Welcome to Jamaica, man. Have a nice day."
It was proudly worn by a guy named 'Bonk'.

[gav]

Kids don't seem to fuck with me, ever! Get some tattoos dudes.

No tattoos, no piercings, nobody ever fucks with me, kids or adults.
Maybe it's the leopard hair ?