F*CKING with people or perhaps the *reverse* heckle

[jayrodin]

Just looking for some ideas to elicit certain responses- humiliate people, get a laugh, or just get the crowd going.

EXAMPLE: "Alright the next song goes out to this good looking fellow over here" (pick out the biggest butch guy in the crowd) "Don't fall in love with me now" and then I'll sing I got you babe or some other love song. "Don't worry, your masculinity is safe with me." Seems anytime I start challenging someone’s masculinity or use the word masculinity in any way it gets a good response. Then I might go on to create some sort of dialogue about the guy falling in love with me throughout the show.

[scot]

sounds good. You could do quick lines from the choruses of popular songs like, when I think about you I touch myself, or get outta my dreams...

[jayrodin]

****EDIT

Looking back I think I implied with my example that I was only looking for ideas for my own gig. I thought it would be interesting to get thread started on "reverse" heckle lines and or just fucking with people in general just to shake things up a bit. Carry on.

[scot]

I didn't notice it until someone told me once, but sometimes I just stand there and wait for people to heckle me. As soon as you establish that it's a game, people can get into it.

Another way to start the game is by being cocky and surprisingly attacking of the helpless or protected peoples. I think this is often Robert Nelson's aproach. Again, people get to know the purpose of the attacks and it becomes a fun game.

You can't be super mean to people unless they've shown aggression toward you, or the audience believes you think they've shown aggression.

reacting poorly yet timidly to a heckler usually stops the heckling while reacting poorly yet aggressively will guarantee you a 2 hour set.

[jayrodin]

Who is Robert Nelson?

[scot]

Butterfly Man

[Butterfly Man]

Hire the Handicapped

Another way to start the game is by being cocky and surprisingly attacking of the helpless or protected peoples. I think this is often Robert Nelson's aproach.

It was a dark and stormy night.

At the end of Pier 39 the fog was just beginning to roll in.

I had a small crowd already, maybe 3 or 4 hundred.

A guy in a cowboy hat looked particularly helpless, so I pick him out.
I threaten to throw a juggling club at him,
“Hey, cowboy! … I’m gonna throw this thang to ya … you gowna catch it?”

He makes a 2-handed catch (what a fag).
Then … on my left, right at the foot of the stage, I hear,
“Arruuuggggghh....”

It sounded like a retard. “Oh goody”, I thought, “another helpless person”.
Then, suddenly, a little comedy angel that looks surprisingly like Scot Nery appears on my right shoulder...

“Robert!. don’t look over that way ... it’s a retarded person ... making fun of retarded people is comedy death ... ignore it ... go on with your act.”

Initially, I take his advise and quickly pick out a black guy who looks, uh, protected.
In my best pre-Eddie Murphy black man impression I bark,
“Say man, I’m gonna throw dis sucka to ya …I wantchya catch wid one hand, not like da honkey did”

Laugh from crowd followed by another,
“Arruuuggggghh....”

Quite suddenly again, on my left shoulder, appears a little Kris Karney devil.
“Robert, go ahead … pick on the handicapped, it’ll be funny!”

I do as he says and find myself glaring at a guy in a wheelchair right below me.
“Arruuuggggghh....”, says the helpless, weak and feeble cripple.

Then he reaches down to a bicycle little horn that was attached to the side of the wheelchair’s armrest.

“Beep, beep”, he pushes ... and helplessly says,
“They used to call me honkey ....”
(big laugh from the audience)

“Beep, beep”, he pushes again and continues,
“But now they call me horny…”
(another big laugh from the crowd)

This frail fucker is funny!

I fully commit and surprisingly attack … after all, he’s only partially paralyzed.

Without thinking I the throw the club.

The crowd gasps and goes silent.

Everything goes into slow motion.

The club flies through the air …

... and slaps perfectly right into the palm of his one good hand.

A perfect catch.

The crowd roars with approval and explodes into applause.

This imbecile has gotten two huge laughs and some killer applause.

So I attack. I grab my nunchucks and turn to threaten the cripple.

I start flailing … but something happens inside my head.

I seem to having an out of body experience … my mind floats me up and I hover right above my own head … I’m looking down at myself threatening a guy in a wheelchair ... with nunchucks. Wow.

Little comedy angel Scot rebukes me,
“See what you’ve done? You didn’t listened to me … you surprisingly attacked the helpless and protected. Now you’ve done it!

The little Karney devil wants me to actually hit him with the sticks,
“Come on! … it’ll be funny.”

But before I can react, the frail and pathetic retard reaches into his boot and pulls out a Bowie knife.

He flips and flashes the chrome nine inch blade.

The audience goes wild!

I quickly finish the show and start to pass the hat ...

Everyone’s moving forward to give me money.

Even for me, its a huge hat!

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see the guy in the wheelchair coming towards me.

Our eyes meet … he’s glowing ... I smile ... I figure he’s gonna thank me.

People move to the side as he wheels up to me with that magic sparkle in his eye.

I put out my hat and bend down for his donation.


He sticks out his hand, grabs a handful of cash, quickly stuffs it under a blanket on his lap ... and rolls away.

[spehar]

Laughing my ass off. That was hilarious.