Online Critique Session(s)

[Seamus]

I just looked at my own profile and realized I've been a member here for five years this month. I don't post often. I do read most of what is posted here. It bugs me when my time is wasted reading drivel, but I realize I have no one but myself and my pointless obsession with thoroughness to blame for reading online arguments betwen individuals whom I've never met and who possibly don't even exist.

That said, I do think performers.net has potential that isn't being tapped into. I've never been able to attend a Motionfest or similar event, but I've always wanted to. I reckon the chance to have other entertainers critique material is by itself probably worth the price of admission. Performers.net offers a way to access the combined experience of hundreds of entertainers, without having to physically get together at a festival.

This is a link to a video of a show I did . I welcome criticisms about the performance. Tear it apart if you want. Or tell me what you like. I have a gig next week where I'll be doing a similar show for 2000 College kids. It'll be a bit shorter, and in Chinese, but pretty much the same.

Watch the video, post responses here. If anyone else wants to start another thread with their video go for it. I reckon using performers.net for more performance related subject matter will make it an even more useful resource than it already is.

[scot]

I didn't watch the whole thing, but here are some things I was thinking about.

Don't use bad words until you're a confident character unless they're under your breath. Shy people don't want to offend, or bring up an opinion that is contrary to anyone, so they try to stay very middle of the road.

Watch your blocking you're too bold. This is a place where you're a guest and you might be in the way. Do things that aren't cute as a shy character. Shy people seem to be possessed. Sentences break off in the middle, things are awkward, stuff comes out that a normally social person would know how to control.

You use bad words instead of jokes sometimes. Try to get cleaner. When you perform for rockers or families they won't think the bad words are that funny.

You could extend the mime thing longer. "I'm the captain" "I'm gonna climb this ladder outa here." "you can't kill me, I have a gun"

[Steven Ragatz]

Seamus,

Fun premise. Edit it. If the line doesn't support the character, or isn't a "hit", then take it out. The part of the act all the way up to the rubber glove could be trimmed down to under a minute and it would feel better to me. I wanted you to get to the point.

Have you considered having the character transformation happen by exiting and then entering as the new character? Or with the glasses (put on the glasses and you are Jean, take off the glasses as you are Jebedia) I'm not convinced about having the different personalities possess the body with an affected convulsion.

The words that the characters say don't sound to my ear like the characters. The accents do, but the words don't. They sound like an American comic who is speaking with an accent. Scott is right about the profanity. I don't think it is needed and breaks the character and caricature of the different personalities.

Made it about a quarter of the way in before having to get back to work.

Steven Ragatz

[Juggalicious]

your characters seem to similar.... you should change the accents on one of them... if you like using cussing I would try and use it all when you are in the 'jon' character because that will seperate the two of them greatly... i like that you put up a video - i wish more people would do this to get critiques... its a good idea - but yeah - i like it -

you should do more with the girl slapping you in the face - if you want to keep it that long keep her up there for a reason.... otherwise make it a lot shorter.

make your characters more different - they are way to similar

[Dan Tastik]

The girl slapping your head feels like filler.

The characters start off very distinct but blur as you progress.

Jean seems to have a bit of a backseat role, as he is the juggler shouldn't he do the (ring) juggling?

It might be the crowd/character combo but they tend to get quite chatty for Jebediah, work out some ways to take control and hush people down in a low status kindof way.

The transition between standup and "now some tricks" is a little clunky/abrupt

The swearing's been touched on a lot, honestly i don't hink it's a problem apart from it limiting the exposure the material can have. The low status/shy character with a foul mouth is fine. Maybe be more suprised at yourself when you swear, "am i allowed to say that?" "did i just say that?" shyness and filthy mouth is the juxtaposition of two contrary sets of rules. This tends to make people laugh

75 meg d/l on dial-up ... oh you better be appreciating me.

[Stephon]

Am I the only person who can't get this thing to play?

[Evan Young]

where it says "This media file's URL: Link" right click the link and choose to download the linked file to your hard drive. It's a wmv.

[Stephon]

Thanks, Evan.

I did that, but for some reason, WMP couldn't play it. Oh well.

[Jim]

Sorry to derail the thread, but why does Windows Media suck so bad? I got about 3 minutes in and it just started jittering/buffering and losing synch with the audio and I couldn't stand it anymore.

From what I did see, all I could think of was Andy Kaufman doing Foreign Man. I didn't get past the two guys bringing out the table.

The swearing can work, but I agree with Scot that maybe it shouldn't be the first thing out of your mouth. Because if it doesn't work on a particualr audience, you're going to have a long, uncomfortable show ahead of you.

Jim

P.S. I like the idea of online critique sessions. We've sort of done that here before with web sites and promo videos, but the focus has never really been on the performance. I say go for it folks. Just start a new thread for each critique. If things get busy, I can drop all the threads into a "Critique Forum."

[Lee Nelson]

windows media player sucks so bad because
........
it is made by microsoft!!!!

i thought it was obvious

BTW i like the video ryan, and i like the idea of showing eachother personal videos over the internet better. Oh that doesnt sound good. Better explain\
low status guys can swear, anytime at all, its expected of them
high status guys should know better
try and slow down and remember to breathe and consentrate on making any down moments ex moments.....



lee

[Seamus]

Thanks

Thanks for the replies folks. They've all been duly noted. I agree with many of them. Especially the differentiation between characters. It gets especially messy after a few minutes into the act and I get lazy.

I did forget to mention it's a huge file. Dialup? Poor Daniel.

As to WMP suckage, my apologies. I have a QT version but it's even more huge and, due to my general incompetence, I can't get it to upload properly.