Worst Busker?

[caricatureguy]

There was this teenage black kid looking all funkedelic with a sequined rainbow outfit, jerry curl hair, grinning like he was Cathy Lee Gifford on a Carnival commercial on the boardwalk this summer. He was not in a good area. He had a boom box and was playing music and it was really gay music to begin with but he was dancing like Napoleon Dynamite only it looked more like figure skating or ballet. It was really disturbing. There were a couple of people looking at him but I think they were really just trying to figure out what the hell he was doing rather than watching his show. Kids were laughing at him and I have to admit I laughed along with them. I watched for a minute or two in passing and it was just pretty sad. He did get a fin from a little girl that was sitting near by while I was watching...

[Rachel Peters]

Originally posted by Rachel Peters

oops... sorry, guys. I don't know what just happened here just now. I was just browsing and I didn't mean to make this post, yet can't erase it.

my bad.

[le pire]

There was this guy in Verona italy who had painted his face white and was wearing a polyester dracula cape - the kid's halloween costume that you buy in a drugstore kind- and he was trying to be a statue. A group of boys between five and seven started making fun of him and after about two minutes of this he just cracked. He started yelling some of the worst obscenities I've ever heard, which made the kids laugh, which made him yell more, which made them laugh more and it just kept going until he got so mad that he literally fell over himself and the kids ran away laughing wildly.

He may have been one of the worst buskers-- but that was one of the best shows I've ever seen.


etienne

[Eric Evans]

I was just having a look/see to make sure I wasn't on anybody's list.

Guess I could list myself, but that would be soooo pathetic, but then again that's never stopped me before.

[Christopher Cool]

FRuit Loop?

Waht about the Fruit Loop? I'm drunk cause friggin cold front in FL and I'm bored and found this post.

I won't give names but someone else can. Dan want to give a shout out? I don't want to see a fat guy with his legs behind his head wearing old sweats who can contort himself through an oversized hulahoop then finds tht he still cant accomplish the feet so he breaks it. You don't need talent to have a show, hell I admit I dont' have skills but find something that the audince can watch and not toss their cookies. hmmm maybe thats what he wants.

[The Pretty Good]

fruit loop

if its who I think it is he is working with the Jim Rose Circus. I saw the show in Gent this year. From Canada eh? Big fat guy who contorts through a hula hoop?

[Christopher Cool]

probably

Yes brendan, hes not bad when hes working with his partners but by himself, one of my top 5 worst buskers. Hows the weather in NY?

[gav]

It's bad form to dis other performers that use this forum.

just my opinion. but always remember it could happen to you.

[The Pretty Good]

well he is a big fat guy who contorts through a hula hoop. like big and fat that's his thing. When I saw him in Edminton he was calling himself the worlds worst street performer. You would not believe what a fat dude doing contortions looks like. He was my favorite street act I saw that year. I still tell people about it. And Chris and I were both named in this thread as "worst buskers". So Nah.

[The Pretty Good]

Also that guy was in the calander for the weekly world news being a human dart board.

[eurobuskers]

sadaam hussein

I saw sadaam in montpellier!!!
he plays very bad classical guitar and is very dirty and looks like he's just crawled out of a hole!!

[nix225]

I always try to give the performer the benefit of the doubt. It might a new bit or a personal crisis is going on but.......,

could someone explain to me the longevity of the catman in Key West?

I tried to watch his show on 3 different occassions last time I was there and honest to god, I couldn't take more than 10 minutes. No humor and the same 2 tricks over and over. Most of the folks around us were equally unimpressed and from what I saw, very few made the walk to his hat.

I overheard a cocky Englishman with a pouch full of fruit remark, "You Americans will watch anything"

So true.

[nick nickolas]

Maybe this bloke !!
Tone-deaf busker finally blows it
April 12, 2006 Edition 3


The Hague - Dutch police have confiscated the saxophone of a busker who played so badly that his audience complained.

The 43-year-old used to perform at the railway station at Leiden, in the west of the country, to the dismay of passengers, the Dutch news agency ANP reported yesterday.

He was the only person to believe that the station concourse "did justice to the sound quality of his instrument" by amplifying it, as he told policemen who served him with a summons and confiscated his saxophone.

He has repeatedly had the instrument confiscated by police - only to have it returned - but this time the prosecution service will decide if he can have it back. - Sapa-AFP

[em]

picky

you could interpret this thread another way, "worst busker" could mean "great/lovely/funny/unique show but not very good at gettin money at the end" in which case most of my favourite shows fall under this category...as we all know the "pitch" or whatever you want to call it is a whole section and psychology in itself...and thats the bit that often matters (unfortunately) the most...the show can storm but if ya fuck that bit up....well its cheap yoghurt and rice for tea....!

[Butterfly Man]

Now you see them, now you don't ... you're a jerk.

True, you can have a decent show and make little or no money but look how many can have a crap show and still can make big bucks (think Glen Singer)...

Fat Men with hula-hoops, black men spinning basketballs, dead clowns with halitosis and Scot all have one thing in common... they are not the worst busker I have ever seen.

Oh, I have seen people try to get crowds with no costume, no skills and no act (Famos Bramwells comes to mind) but to receive the dubious distinction of "worst busker" you should at least TRY to be entertaining.

Mysterious Stan came up to me when I was at Pier 39... I was still the entertainment coordinator (before everyone hated my guts) ... and this well dressed man (beautiful white tuxedo) comes up to me and wants to audition for a spot ... I say OK, but you have to 1) gather a crowd and 2) keep them interested for 20min. ... (I later added a minimum hat because of what I saw that day).

So, I have this clipboard (trying to look official) and I plop myself down on a bench while this guy gets the stage ready for his chain escape act ... real nice looking equipment ... beautiful new chains and locks (the real deal- Tim Eric taught me how to tell the difference) and a beautiful sign that Says "MYSTERIOUS STAN" all in this real sparkly calligraphy ... wow, I think, this might even be good.

I was wrong ... dead wrong ...

Oh, he started out good enough ... got a coupla volunteers (real big guys) to tie him up in the chains and lock him... and got a pretty girl to set one of those timers (that most people use for cooking) for 2 minutes.

That's right folks ... 2 minutes was all it was supposed to take ...

Well, there he is, this middle age guy, all chained up struggling like crazy to free himself ... the first minute was actually interesting …he is contorting all over the place ... jumping around like a madman (think Nick Nickolas 15 years ago) … 2 minutes comes and the timer goes off … no comment from this rapidly deflated human ego … an another minute goes by (agonizing) … the guy then falls onto the stage and commences to flipping around uncontrollably (think Gazzo having a stroke) … things are looking pretty dismal.

I get up and attempt to help … “NO!”, he yells.

He is soaking wet with perspiration … his costume, while still white, now clings to portions of his pathetic frame.

The guy now goes into a frenzy
…(I think, “Is this for real?” … ”Can this really be an act?” …“What the fuck could the payoff be?”

... but now 2 minutes has turned in to over 10 and this guy is as worked up as Peter Gross chasing skank at a Ren faire.

All over the stage he rolls … back and forth … to and fro … occasionally you hear the sound of wet flesh squishing (Taxi Trix trying to fit into his old costumes). It was frightening.

Then it happened … he fell off the stage … still completely bound … right on his face.

Oh my God! I jumped up … no way this was an act! I rushed to help him up … others helped.

There was a gash on his chin … a big one.

Blood started flowing … he said, “Let me finish”. “Get back”

He leaps back on the stage …

More people stopping …

The crowd now over 100, maybe 2 …

I can’t believe what’s happening.

The blood starts flowing down his neck …it soaks the front of his shirt … frilly flecks of sweat and blood fly through the air.

The blood rapidly runs everywhere throughout his costume. He looked like Lucky Rich if he got all his tattoos at once. Repulsive.

Huge crowd, but I’d had enough … I like blood as much as the next Splatter punk but I ain’t no Martin Ewen … I stopped the show.


I hustled him into a nearby restaurant restroom and used the paper towels as a pressure bandage on his chin.

We got he bleeding under control and left the restaurant …

We are walking back to the stage when he stops … this miserable, pitiable man … looking more like a fatality than a entertainer … looks up at me … and, I swear to God … with all the bravado of a Bill Ferguson says, “So, how’d I do?”

Unfuckingbelievable.